artist growing

another crazy bus story

i love riding the bus. on the bus, you get to see all sorts of interpersonal dramas and comedies without having to pay for a movie ticket or stay in your house in front of the television all day. my favorite part is that you never know what sort of ride you'll have.

i took the max home from taking the Miller's Analogy Test (i rocked it!). as i waited, i noticed an older, leather-skinned gentleman riding his bicycle to the stop. his tires slipped on the tracks and he crashed. he got up calmly and stood near me. his face was crinkly; he looked like he'd seen better times.

we found ourselves sitting across from each other. i noticed that he fumbled with his enormous backpack's zipper. when he finally got it open, there was a colorful bouquet of slightly bedraggled flowers and greenery. he placed it on the floor. next, he took out a bulky wool sweater. then, he switched the hat on his head with a baseball cap from his bag. then he replaced that hat with a third black wool hat from his bag. he wrapped the flowers in the sweater and stuffed them both back into his backpack.  his movements were so precise and smooth.

meanwhile, a father carried his year old baby up the aisle and sat in the open seat near us. he had a round, pink face as did his son. the baby was an angelic smiling machine. he giggled at me and at the gentleman across the way.  the gentleman across the way unzipped his bag and undid the sweater. he tore a flower out of the bouquet and handed it to the baby.

a few moments later, a little girl skipped up the aisle. she was followed by her skulking, little brother. the family all had auburn hair, pale moon-faces, and blue eyes. the little brother insisted on standing, but kept slipping. everytime he slipped, the older, leather-faced gentleman caught him and set him back up. i stood so that he could sit in my seat. when we switched places, i saw that he had a big black stitches across his forehead.

the kids passed the flower between each other. everytime it fell, the older gentleman leaned forward and picked it up.

back on target

i'm finally feeling a bit more stable these days.

going home for christmas really threw some colors on my ordinary schedule. i didn't get to write much and i didn't have as much time alone. then, when i got back, dave broke off with me. i knew it was coming, but it still hurt a bit.

in those last few weeks, i've let all my day-to-day things slide. i didn't eat the same foods. i haven't even been cooking. i wasn't writing or making art. i wasn't even going out with friends. i didn't have the energy for that.

today has been the third day in a row where i showered and wrote and walked. i'm going to clean out my studios. maybe i'll paint. i'm excited about cooking some food later. the weather is light and golden-- maybe a fruity pie would be delicious. i think i might go on a bike ride, too...

i also have some good plans. i'm taking the miller analogies test tomorrow, so i can apply to grad school. there will be a party at my house on saturday; afterwards, i'm going to a friend's birthday party... i even have a date on friday night. huh.

coffee job, part 2

i got a call this morning asking if i'd be available to come in to be the coffee person at miller nash. i agreed and arrived at work (sans shower) just 45 minutes later. not bad, considering that 20 of those minutes was on the bus.  i made 50 more canisters of coffee and distributed them through out the office. i  greeted everyone with a bright grin and felt so in control. i even ordered lunch for 2 different groups of people.

all day, i felt a bit like i was an imposter, a make-believe corporate event planner. when i cleared the one lunch, i prepared myself a big plate of leftovers, before distributing the food to everyone else. i even scrounged a piece of decadant chocolate fudge cake off a dish. i haven't scrounged since being a poor reedie. it was fun (and tasty).

tommorrow, i get to go back for more coffee madness. meanwhile, i cuddle with my new kitty. we named him "rest easy nighttime" or nyquil, for short.  he is beautiful and fluffy and could be
mistaken for a couch cushion, if he didn't sneeze quite so much.

we got a kitty!

and he's so sweet and so cute. i hope we all get along together.

also, carnivale is tonight. i think i'm going to bake cookies. . .

last day for coffee

today was my last day temping at the miller-nash law firm. it was pretty busy; i had to set up for 4 breakfasts that all happened about the same time. despite more to do, i was actually much more efficient today. it took me that long to get used to the best ways to arrange my coffee-carting.

it was so gorgeously foggy this morning. when i got to the corner lounge on the 36th floor, the view outside was a blank whiteness. i sat at the window watching for anything, but i couldn't even see air movements. i liked the way the whole world had disappeared. it felt a little lonely, too, like a princess locked in a tall tower in a fairytale.

i'm so glad that i'm not going to be working there anymore. it takes a lot of energy to be so self-directed and so invisible all day. . .

pretending to be abroad

lately, i've been pretending that i live in a foreign country. mostly, i do it so that i don't feel bad about not getting back to people i don't really want to talk with. it is easier for me to say, "oh, i'm on a trip exploring the cathedrals of  italy" than it is for me to say, "i don't want to talk with you anymore, so stop bugging me." i've always had more imagination than guts (or social skills).

temp coffee jobs

as an artist, i am currently signed up with a temp agency, so that i can have some income as i hone my skills. on friday, i was trained as a coffee specialist at a big law firm downtown. the coffee specialist is responsible for making about 25 canisters of coffee and delivering them to the various coffee/ copy rooms. i also get to set up and clear from lunches and meetings. the one catch in the job is that i have to wake at an ungodly hour in order to catch the 5:15am bus to be at work on time.

my first day by myself was on monday. i was worried that i would have difficulty speedily delivering the coffees in the morning, but pretty much things went smoothly. i panicked a little when the one lunch delivery arrived late, but all in all it was not a bad day's work. i sipped lots of tea and soda during the day. afterwards, i treated myself to a nice little happy hour.

today, the temp agency called and asked if i were available for working on thursday and friday. it'll be fun and (probably) good for me to work 3 days in the same week. it has been a while since i've done that.

been up for 22 1/2 hours

and i feel. . . loopy.

i woke up early on friday morning to catch the bus to get downtown. i had a temp job at a fancy-pants lawfirm. i was trained as a coffee specialist: someone to brew hundreds of gallons of coffee and prepare rooms for meetings. i met people all morning and sashayed over the thick carpeting, tugging my cart along.

after work, i walked about town. i felt so revved up that i just wanted to keep moving and moving. at a grocery store, i bought some white chocolate and some pecans. then i rode the bus home, thinking about cookies.

i baked 4 dozen cookies. 2 dozen of them were enormous, dropped from ice cream scoops. i washed all my dishes and packed the biggest, brightest ones into a tin. i packed the tin onto my bicycle and wrapped myself up in wool and microfibers.  then i rode down the hill and over till i got to a certain bus stop, where i waited for 10 minutes. i locked my bike onto the bus and flew up the hill and arrived at my friend leondra's house. yay!

leondra propped herself on pillows and i got to be her good friend. we told stories. we talked about boys. we talked about our sisters. more people joined us. we ate pizza. we drank pabst. i met her dad. we talked about drugs. we talked about what we had wanted to be when we were children. we talked about movies.

i admitted to wanting to be a spy. i admitted to having a bad singing voice. we gave charlie a new catchphrase and i shocked adam when he walked through the door.

finally, i am home after a very generous offer of a ride. what a perfect, lovely-lovely evening.

i'm back

i know, it has been a while since i've last written. i had a good trip home. i got to see all of my siblings, my parents, lots of cousins, aunts and uncles, and family pets. it was wonderful.

my brother andy and i cleaned and decorated the house. we played go. athena and i baked ridiculous amounts of cookies. we made beautiful cinnamon-maple cookies that looked like little pinwheels.

kathy and i spent a day in new york city. we climbed to the top of the empire state building. as we stepped outside, it started to snow. we walked around the top and looked at the skyline through the foggy sky. when we got back to street level, the snow came down harder, in enormous flakes and we stepped through the crowd to get a dinner. it felt magical.

athena and jimmy and i went on a trip to philadelphia. we saw liberty bell and the school athena wants to attend. we listened to a mixed cd of their favorite songs. i felt like we were all the same age.

jimmy and i made a movie together, starring his action figures. in it, superman's new mustang gets stolen by mighty man, who takes it and a hitchhiking dinosaur to china. meanwhile, superman gets captured while trying to locate his car. it was ridiculously fun to work on.

i got to have good talks with mom and dad. it was wonderful to see so many people i care so much about. i got to see aunt lorraine and aunt linda. i got to see my godmother. hooray!